Feb 24, 2009
I'm an Oscar fan. I don't usually go to the movies in theatres (tough to say "Yes" to a gallon of diet soda when I know my bladder is the size of a pixel). Ever since I missed the part of "The Sixth Sense" where you find out Bruce Willis is dead (spoiler!) because I HAD to run to the bathroom, I avoid beverages at the theatre, and there are no vegan food options worth perusing (at least not for seven bucks.) So the Oscars are my cheapass way to see all the big movies of the last year, in easily-digestible clip form. I ain't never said I was no cultural scion and shit.
Twitter is my new favourite web-thingy because a) I don't have to be funny for more than 140 characters and b) famous people use it and most of the ones I like actually interact with their fans. So when one of my favourite comedian-type-creatures, Paul F. Tompkins (from Mr. Show and "best Week Ever") announced he would live-twit the Oscars I grabbed my laptop and settled in for a WEB TWO POINT OH Oscarstravaganza. And it did not disappoint.
Other famous funny dudes: the phenomenal Bill Corbett (MST3K, and now RiffTrax), actor and comedian Kevin Pollak (perhaps you have seen a film in the last fifteen years?) and John Hodgman (hobo expert) tweeting the shit out of the Oscars. When the show got boring, the tweets would sustain, and when the tweets were boring, the show was ridiculous. Same thing happened on election night, and I am sure it will continue on for more big ol' events to come.
My old man posted a collection of his Oscar tweets and I enjoyed it so much I decided to copy him and do the same. So here you go: low effort, high content, THE MUSICAL IS BACK, etc.
7:57 Hurry up and start happening, Oscars, I can't watch ryan seacrest awkwardly avoid Brangelina for much longer!
8:03 make it work, tim gunn
8:31 Was Defamer right about nudity and champers? Let's see
8:33 australia, australia, australia, australia, we love you, amen
8:39 ok hugh jackman you have convinced me you aren't gay.
8:45 Best Actress Council of Elders: So when do they come together to form Voltron?
And retweet from (John) @hodgman Are all the stars deciding if whoopi gets sent to the Phantom Zone?
9:25 Calling BULLSHIT on that makeup Oscar. Hellboy 2 deserved that, all of BB was fucking CGI, not makeup! Robbed
THE MUSICAL TRIBUTE TO MUSICALS SEGMENT
9:53 Is Beyonce legally required to sing "At Last" at every televised event now?
9:55 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL KIDS vs. BEYONCE vs WOLVERINE vs ABBA vs A MARCHING BAND
9:58 OMG Baz arranged that?? Wow. Wow. I'm surprised and deeply disappointed.
10:02 Just noticed the #1 search on google right now: "hugh jackman wife?"
10:06 Robert Downey Jr vs Cuba Gooding Jr
10:07 here comes heath's oscar
10:23 Look Jackman don't blame Truffaut for these Oscars
10:36 did he just say my sister Sally and my son Coolio?
10:37 i wish my son was named Coolio
10:43 lol this Joe Satriani song (OH OOPS I MEAN COLDPLAY SONG)
10:46 Jerry Lewis:"A woman doing comedy, I, as a viewer, have trouble with it.I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world."
PS: That's an actual, shortened for Twitter, quote from humanitarian Jerry Lewis, folks. The full quotation is "I don't like any female comedians. A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world."
BEST SONG TIME!
10:56 so peter gabriel pulled out of this because he couldn't do the whole song. yet...doesn't it seem that he's here as we watch this perf?
10:57 I'm in love with Angry Johnny!
11:11 YES DEATH MONTAGE
11:12 Voted Paul Newman as last in montage
11:26 why no george carlin in the death reel? heh, like to think it's because he wouldn't have wanted to be in it
BEST ACTRESS TIME!
11:28 Oscars of Eastwick
11:31 Holy shit Nicole Kidman can move her forehead! YAY, motherhood has un-golemed Kidman!
11:32 Kate Winslet's dad with the Saint of Killers hat ahaha
11:35 Yeah Meryl, suck it!
BEST ACTOR TIME!
11:36 SEAN PENN VS MICKEY ROURKE: with these two mumblers? "There Will Be Fudd"
11:46 Glad he acknowleged the protestors and called em out
11:47 sean penn, i had no idea you were so classy, but did i miss when you thanked princess buttercup?
At this point I gave up because it was late and other people were much more entertaining. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I love Twitter for live nationwide events. And that @hodgman, @pftompkins, @BillCorbett and @kevinpollak are a lot better at this than I am.
Web 2.0 more like Web 2. NO amirite folks