Apr 15, 2008

Cinnamon Buns - Oh, the joy of punching!

I made cinnamon buns because, well, why wouldn't you? Why am I not making cinnamon buns every second of my life? I thought about this a lot and decided the only reason was because I might get fat. But after making the little bastards, I realize that could never happen, because this is a workout. I mean, Food Pilates may be an up-and-coming exercise program if someone with a lot of money ever makes these things. Someone, I'd like to add that I'd be more than happy to work with you on that project, as long as I get to wear my new boots to class.

I know, I know, Demonia, but they're fuzzy, too.

I adapted the recipe a bit because I wanted to use whole wheat flour. That's right. I'm part of the scandalously regular pro-fibre agenda. There. My hat is in the ring.

With the whole wheat flour, you're gonna need a bit more water. Not much, and maybe some drops for the fingeroonies during the rollout process. Bonus points if you yell "Autobots, roll out!" when you do this.

Vegan Cinnamon Bun FUN FIESTA

3 teaspoons active dry yeast
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 cup lukewarm water
1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups whole wheat flour

Combine yeast, sugar, and water in a small bowl. Let sit for 10 minutes in a warm place. If your yeast does not bubble, it is dead and the dough will not rise. Throw out the mixture and start again with new yeast.

*There was an option to do this with a breadmaker but I'm not a fancy uptown bread-machine owning pastry fascist so here are the instructions by hand*

In a large bowl, combine the yeast mixture with the nutmeg and salt. Add the flour in batches, stirring after each addition, until the mixture forms a cohesive ball of dough (it will pull away from the sides of the bowl). You will need about 3 1/2 cups of flour. Turn out onto a floured counter top and knead until dough is smooth and elastic. This can take up to 15 minutes. Flour your work surface frequently to prevent sticking.

Spray a large bowl with non-stick spray (or use one tablespoon of oil) and place dough inside. Cover with a clean towel and let rise in a warm area for 1 hour. While the dough is rising, make the filling.

1/2 cup vegan margarine
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons cinnamon
1/4 cup maple syrup
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
OPTIONAL: raisins (I excluded them because, fuck raisins, seriously)

Mix margarine, sugar, cinnamon, maple syrup, vanilla, nuts and/or raisins (if using) in a small bowl until smooth. Refrigerate until ready to use.


Preheat oven to 350°F.

Punch dough down and divide into 2 pieces. Put 1 piece of dough back into the bowl and cover to prevent it from drying out. Place 1 piece on a floured work surface. Pat dough into a rectangle.

Using a rolling pin, roll out dough into a 9X13 rectangle. (Important! I ran ahead and made a huge sheet, about 2 feet by 3 feet, and the dough was not into the experience.)

Spread half of the filling mixture onto the dough using a spatula, leaving a 2-inch border at the bottom. Start rolling up the dough starting at the top left-most corner and working your way along the length of the dough. Try not to stretch the dough too much when rolling. Continue rolling until you reach the edge of the filling. Moisten the plain strip of dough (below the filling) with water and roll the dough down to seal. Let the roll rest while you finish the second roll.

With the seam side down, cut each roll into 4 equal pieces. Place, cut side down, in an oiled 9-inch square baking pan or in the middle of a baking sheet lined with parchment. Cover with a towel and let rise for 30 minutes.

Place rolls in preheated 350 F oven and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and filling is bubbling. Let cool in pan for 15 minutes before serving.

Gooey-Ass Entrepreneurial Icing:
Powdered (icing) sugar
Soy milk
Vanilla extract
Maple syrup

Put some icing sugar in a bowl, add a little soymilk till it gets faux-creamy, a few drops of vanilla, and then some maple syrup. I can't really give amounts but basically it's 75% icing sugar, 25% everything else. You'll know what to do as you're making it, so cowgirl up and give'er!

If you'll excuse me, I have some warm clods of fun to scarf back. It's been a long 2 hours.


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Wheeler's Frozen Dessert said...

Wow! Those look really tasty.

Anonymous said...

That looks amazing - kudos on the whole wheat stand, as well! If you really like your cinnamon buns, check out this site, where they are hunting for the world's best: kanelbulle.tv.

beauty and bread said...

haha! fuck raisins. seriously. these look amazing and yea: whole wheat!

Anonymous said...

Y'all are just wrong about raisins. Time and experience has taught me this.
-Signed, a Wrong person